I'm in the last seat on the bus. The rise and fall of the engine rumbles against my back. I feel kinda lost 'cause I should've got off at my stop, but at least I know the bus will bring me safely home. Or maybe I'll walk back in the flickering mist of the snow's simple magic. And wearing headphones somehow makes me feel invisible. Like I can't hear people so they can't see me. Weird. It'll be kinda late, too, so I won't have to run into any neighbors. Even though, now that Leo's gone, I don't care how they look at me. Which is really nice come to think about it, especially considering how they look at me since he was arrested. And I don't even have to go home. Gosh. I haven't had this kind of freedom since 1982. When I get home, I can BLAST tunes and pretend I'm Eddie Vedder without the humiliation of my son busting me. I can light candles without worrying about him making Q-Tip torches in the bathroom while I do dishes. I'll take a bath and leave the door open. Then I'll make cocktails ~ pitchers of them. I'll invite people over. I could even go out and drag some delicious dirty bastard back home with me who could give me the total and entire business starting with some chew de la ~ Whoa, Jo! Settle down little filly. Might not want to jump into that particular saddle so soon. After court when Leo was in the basement packing to move, I told his dad that I was gonna go find me a man. He said, "why would you want to ruin your life again?" Yeah, and it's not like I have any liquor at home. Or tons of friends to invite over. The social life of a welfare mother just ain't what it used to be. I'm spending my evening alone on a bus, which, come to think of it, ain't so bad, either. Unlike most bars, I get to listen to my favorite music and the scenes outside the window pass like a movie. Tonight's film, Just Say Jo about how a welfare mother changes the world by asking people to be nice. Or maybe, Kathy Jo Goes To Washington about how I'll testify before Congress and make even Newt cry and realize what a mean poopyhead he is. I am going to change as much of the world as I can. I swear, if all I can do is give people ten seconds of relief by making them laugh even once, well, if that's all I can do I'll be depressed. But ever since this thing with Leo happened, I've been featured in papers all over the country for my crazy Internet group. Even the National Geographic wanted to interview me. This week I'm doing two radio shows. I'm being profiled by the Post-Gazette again, got a letter published and illustrated in Rolling Stone and I've got my first stand-up poetry gig coming up at the Beehive. And oh yeah, I'm going to be on TV in Japan! Well actually my agent is in negotiations. I am going to be the most famous welfare recipient that ever rode a bus. I will miss my little son but I have so many things to be grateful for. He's living in the country, chops wood with his dad for the furnace, has a forest for a backyard, three cats and a dog and two parents. Regardless of how his father was before, he really came through. Him and his wife are wonderful to Leo. When he drove away in his dad's truck, he sat so tall, so proud. And he's far away from Mt. Oliver. I still worry about the friends he left here. Every kid around handled the guns Leo and his partner stole. Even the kids of parents who rumored that I sent Leo out to rob houses. People assign blame according to what they feel power over. A gun is produced every 20 seconds in our country. No one demands that the firearms' industry be responsible for its products. Every eight hours a kid commits suicide with a gun. There are accidental deaths all the time. With something as simple as a combination lock, a handgun could be personalized so that only the owner could use it. I don't understand how we can sign away even our children, on the bottom line. America was created by and sustained from greed. And it's killing us so pardon me if I try to change it. Man. Aw, here we are in Upper St. Carrick. I'll get off soon and head back. I must've walked a million miles on Brownsville Road. I love it here ~ the busses, the endless bars and churches. I have to help. And when I'm famous, I'm going to drag that Adam Duritz back here by his dread locks. HOLY SHIT! What if someday he reads all my craziness about how he's going to beg me to marry him? It's like a guarantee he'll hate me. Well then poopy poop on him. I'll marry Jeff Ament. Oh yeah, ~ the Crows do a song, "Rain King," and Adam sings about Saul Bellow's character, Henderson the Rain King. When Henderson decides to go back to college to be a doctor, his life's dream, he uses the name Leo Edward Henderson. And my son's name is Leo Edward and he's now living in Henderson. Wedding bells for Jo. I just know. La la-la la-la. Kiss the moon once for me. I'll be lost in a mist of stars. Catch the Jo on 3WS with Steve Hansen on Jan. 29th at 8 a.m. and on WYEP, Monday (30th) during Rosemary's show. And Feb. 10th at the Beehive in Oakland.